Sean and I went on a date! A real, live date! Without a baby! With other adults! Sean’s a huge KU basketball fan (remember). It’s still pre-conference play and KU was in town playing Georgetown earlier this month. A Georgetown alum and friend of Sean’s offered us the ability to get tickets through the Georgetown alumni ticket website/program. I looked forward to this all week. Even though it was a basketball game I was going to wear a dress! I hadn’t put on a dress in all of the six weeks (at that point) since Wes was born! We were going to get drinks, out like our pre-baby selves! Getting out of the house with Sean was going to be awesome!
Before we talk about this date let’s quickly reflect on how odd it is that I’m no longer the babysitter and am now the mother giving instructions on things like feedings and bedtime routines and how to work the remotes and here’s the number for our pediatrician and all of that. And that we now say things like “sorry we’re late, the babysitter hit traffic.” It’s odd.
But at least I was able to snap this really cute picture while we waited for that babysitter stuck in traffic.
I don’t know what the right word is for this, it’s not irony, but I feel like it’s something that two new parents spent their first date night right next to the student section at this basketball game. While we were in the alumni section, it was basically an extension of the student section. We stood the whole time. I found it amusing.
I can’t tell you anything about what happened during this game. I have no recollection of whether KU won or lost. I know that Sean occasionally made a comment to me. I did my best to respond like I knew what was happening in this game. I was so preoccupied. Would the babysitter text me pictures? How had bedtime gone? Did Wes eat everything? Did he spit up? Did he burp? Was he being fussy for her or good? Would he like how she put him to bed better than me and then never go to bed for me again? Should I text her? Should I see how things are going? I watched the clock more to understand where Wes and his babysitter were in their nightly routine than to understand where we were in the basketball game. I checked my phone thinking maybe she would update me instead of me having to ask her. She didn’t. By some miracle I made it the whole night without checking in. It took me the whole game, but it finally occurred to me that what I was doing made date night almost pointless. What good is getting out of the house and away from the kids with your husband only to worry about the kids and ignore your husband the whole time? That doesn’t allow you to be present and focusing on your relationship. In some ways, duh. But it was not obvious in the midst of all my curiosity about Wes and his babysitter. I’m glad our first date night was spent at a sporting event so I could work all this out. Sean had no idea I wasn’t focusing on the game until we talked about it after. He had no idea that I wasn’t in the moment with him. Had we gone out to dinner it maybe wouldn’t have been so successful a date as I wondered about Wes and couldn’t carry on a conversation with Sean. I will probably worry and wonder about Wes during our next date night too. Being aware of the problem is half the battle, right? And now that I’m aware of the problem I’m going to try really hard to worry less and less about Wes during date night.